<![CDATA[How do I know I'm "actually a woman"?]]>How do I know I'm "actually a woman"?

I don't, really. If there's some part of the brain whose job it is to inform me of my gender identity, it must be on strike.

But what I do know is that the first thing that happened with me when I began transition was that I started to dance.

]]>https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/topic/43723e6e-4ba3-46cd-8e71-9297ec46e146/how-do-i-know-i-m-actually-a-womanRSS for NodeMon, 09 Nov 2026 13:28:09 GMTSun, 09 Nov 2025 11:04:07 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How do I know I'm "actually a woman"? on Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:34:31 GMT]]>My goes far beyond the physical and the sartorial. It's a self-actualisation, of which looking fantastic in a dress happens to be a small but surprisingly crucial part. 🙂

]]>https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519525437596541https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519525437596541Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:34:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How do I know I'm "actually a woman"? on Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:27:31 GMT]]>It doesn't always feel the same. Sometimes it's a moment of great and abiding peace during a walk in the park, sometimes it's a silly thing that makes me giggle. Sometimes a guilty pleasure that I let myself enjoy. Sometimes the exhilaration of doing something I never thought I'd dare to do.

Each time I can sense my being stretching out, becoming more, becoming freer. Reaching out into the world.

]]>https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519497921804511https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519497921804511Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:27:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How do I know I'm "actually a woman"? on Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:19:29 GMT]]>My transition has been this slow stumble in pursuit of that feeling. Does removing my body hair feel good? Painting my nails? Wearing a blouse? A hill-climbing exercise that started in the foothills but led me inexorably into a full ascent of a peak marked on my map as "Woman".

]]>https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519466354429154https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519466354429154Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:19:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How do I know I'm "actually a woman"? on Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:10:42 GMT]]>It wasn't the hormones, because those were still eight months off. I was just in the kitchen, cooking dinner, when I felt the urge to shake my body to some tune only in my head.

A subtle yet unignorable joy, driving my hips, driving my feet. I had this sense of myself, a presence, in the moment and in my body.

]]>https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519431807065866https://bbs.spacc.eu.org/new/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/Tattie/statuses/115519431807065866Sun, 09 Nov 2025 11:10:42 GMT