* family members (who are pretty normal people) got an account on that server, so they only had to install conversations on their phone
* most of our friends are of the FLOSS-nerd variety, and there are enough who are able to run their own server to provide for themselves and for the non-uploading nerds of the group, but everybody had at least some motivation, once the effort required was low
* I'm not on other chat systems (other than IRC, which I'm not going to recommend to family members :) )

Look, like you, I am a tech nerd. I've hosted fedi servers. I have a lot of websites. I'm writing a CMS for an MMPORG.

I cannot be fucked to host my own XMPP server. Nobody I know uses XMPP since the embrace extend extinguish thing happened with it. Is this fair? No. Is it true? Yes.

No normal person in a train station wants to hear about ex em pee pee.

- There are simple & privacy-preserving options, like @monocles, which one can even pay for with #CashByMail and #Monero!

Overview - monocles Documentation

(docs.monocles.eu)

Well since nothing is perfect unless we all roll our own XMPP servers, the nice older lady in the train station should just keep using WhatsApp. After all what's the point of less metadata collection unless everyone who staffs and runs it is perfect? There's no point in trying to improve things for normal people.

Moxie´s new villa (after his #Signal #MobileCoin scam)

Signal CEO Moxie Marlinspike Buys Ultra-Mod Mar Vista Compound

After years of living in rented Venice digs — most recently at a three-bedroom bungalow just steps from trendy Abbott Kinney — prominent tech cryptographer Moxie Marlinspike is finally setting down some permanent real estate roots, albeit slightly further inland. The Signal CEO, who’s appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience and is frequently considered one […]

Yahoo Finance (finance.yahoo.com)

But #Matrix is also not the solution:

why not matrix?

at this point it seems like most of the tech community is familiar with matrix, the "open network for decentralized communication". lots of projects and communities have migrated from a host of other platforms, including irc, discord and slack with the promise that their new spaces will be free forever. i first discovered matrix in 2021 and have dedicated a lot of time trying to understand exactly how it works, as well as trawling through github issues to try and understand whether we should consider matrix…

Telegraph (telegra.ph)

- Another #US #Corporation, thus subject to #CloudAct.
- Collecting #PII (#Pohnenumber!).
- Another proprietary platform.
- Another shady monetization with some #Shitcoin - #scam called #MobileCoin!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJoO2uWrX1M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DSGq9FQKU4

No she actually didn't know and was keen to learn abut Signal.