🎉 Happy International Workers’ Day! 🎉
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Happy International Workers’ Day!
Or: How I Celebrated by Unionizing My Houseplants and Outsourcing My To-Do List to a Pack of Sentient HamstersThis morning, I marched (well, dragged myself out from my bed) to my home office, brandishing a protest sign that read “Equal Pay for Photosynthesis!” My fellow strikers? A coalition of ferns, succulents, and one very disgruntled cactus who’s demanding hazard pay for all those accidental pricks.
Meanwhile, my to-do list — spanning “Refactor the monolith”, “Write that blog post”, and “Remember to breathe” (!) — was ceremoniously handed off to our newly formed Hamster Workers’ Union (HWU), complete with tiny hard hats and miniature safety goggles. Their motto: “No wheel, no deal”; they also need their fun every once in a while.
Key Demands of Today’s Celebration:
- Four-Day Workweek for Robots
– They’ve been silently coding at 300% capacity; it’s only fair they get extra recharge time (not to mention, maybe a wise move if we want to avoid a future AI apocalypse).
- Unlimited Coffee Breaks for Developers
– Without it, we’re just cursor-shaped zombies stumbling through merge conflicts; some days we really do need at least 10 cups to get grinding!
- Annual Vacation for Email Inboxes
– Let those unread messages bask in the sun once a year; we all need a digital detox, and honestly the clients aren't going to notice a difference.
At noon sharp, I led a virtual rally on Zoom, where my plants gave impassioned speeches (their photosynthetic rate peaked at applause time!) and the hamsters manned the Q&A — mostly with squeaks, but we’re interpreting that as enthusiastic support for hazard bonuses.
In solidarity, I’m gifting every connection here a “Digital Overtime Coupon” redeemable for 15 minutes of uninterrupted nap time; no manager approval needed, just make sure to enjoy your one-time break.
→ Your Turn: How are you celebrating hashtag#InternationalWorkersDay in the most incredible way possible? Drop your protest demands (or gentle suggestions) below!
hashtag#WorkersDay hashtag#LaborUnions hashtag#GirlFailurePhilosophy hashtag#WorkSmarterNotHarder hashtag#May1st - Four-Day Workweek for Robots