do you give your romantic partner password/PIN access to your phone?
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do you give your romantic partner password/PIN access to your phone?
(please boost for size so we can learn how fedi does personal device privacy)
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@falcennial we both have root access to the home server(s) that host our mail and data, and on each other computers.
when we moved together we considered what to do and decided that we were both nerd enough to be able to set up a properly encrypted method of communication if we needed one, and that sharing the sysadmining was much more convenient.
And we also know the pin for each other's phone, but that's not really something important :D
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I'm not a relationship person, but if I were, I wouldn't want theirs, and they wouldn't get mine. Privacy is a vital part of a relationship. So is trust.
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If I were married maybe, in the interest of making logistical things easier if I died or got into a bad accident or something.
Not for "monitoring" though, I think it's unhealthy if there aren't still some private spaces in a relationship. If someone doesn't know me well enough to trust me in that way or obsessively needs access to every corner of my life, we shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.
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@contrasocial @falcennial so much this. I'm missing the option "That question would be a huge red flag"
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@stefanie @contrasocial (it's the second option!)
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@Jorsh @falcennial in my experience, in the non toxic cases there is a small loss of privacy, but the level of trust is actually higher.
I'm thinking of those cases where the reason for sharing the PIN is for it to be more convenient to do stuff¹ on somebody phone *for them* and usually under their request, but giving said pin requires a level of trust in the recipient that they won't use it to look at the phone at other times and/or for selfish / nefarious reasons such as spying on the other person.
(and it depends on the circumstances, but I'd consider “has asked for the PIN” a red flag that maybe they can't be trusted with it)
¹ like answering texts while the phone owner is driving, or checking a notification while the phone owner is in the bathroom, or the already mentioned managing the music, or navigation while traveling together, etc. basically cases where the other person is acting as a sort of voice based interface for the phone owner
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