Sexiest body part?

(yes this is in alphabetical order)

Boost if you won't boost a post that says "Boost if"

Fun fact for app developers:

If I have turned off push notifications,
that isn't because I forgot to turn them on.

It's because I don't want them to be on.

Does atheism have sain'ts?

When your post reaches accounts your instance hadn't reached yet (yes these three all have proper pictures but twoot.site doesn't know that yet)

A friend informed me yesterday that when he lived alone as a student girls would compliment him

on having a garbage can in the bathroom.

Apparently that's rare for dudes to have.

I'm sorry I do not understand how a lot of people live.

Honestly what are you even doing as a kid if you aren't completely in love with some piece of art that everyone else thinks is terminally boring or worse?

.... wait what do italian vampires even do

honestly the only reason I'd ever want to compete in the olympics is to get to join the orgies going on in the olympic village

Good news, everyone!

(it's me, I'm dudes who can cook)

Do you have a bone in your body?

I hate how some corners of the net will take a dead celebrity and make them "wholesome".

It's not that I think they're all necessarily awful people (some are, some aren't),

but no real person is that brand of "wholesome" that these people want. You can't turn them all into your image of Fred Rogers.

I'd like it if we could talk about people like they're, you know, people. And that frequently means good and bad and above all fucking messy.

Releasing an album called Disambiguation (disambiguation) to force Wikipedia to add a page called Disambiguation (disambiguation) (disambiguation)